Heat the sauce. Add the beef. Simmer.

Wet the bread. Add the beef. Garnish to taste with peppers. Root beer is best, but Mountain Dew works.

I first encountered Chicago style beef sandwiches in the late 1960s when we lived in Aurora, Illinois, a far west suburb of Chicago. I’d been working in men’s jobs since I was 13 and had learned about all manner of sandwiches that working men back then favored. When I was a grease monkey at Robinson’s Auto Supply, still doing business in downtown Aurora, I found several nearby joints that served a beef. And, just to demonstrate range of taste, we also got lucky with a Mexican gent who worked the bars near the garage, selling homemade Mexican treats including what remains the best tamale I’ve ever had and that includes Texas and Mexico. By the time he hit Robinson’s, the fella was three sheets to the wind from doing good business in the bars. Man, I can still smell the corn husk wrapped tamales. But, we’re talking beefs here, right?

I thought I knew good Chicago style beefs until I met Mo at NIU in 1972. We roomed together, sharing Luigi’s beefs over pinochle and reruns of Combat! with Vic Morrow. Then Mo invited me to his family home in K-town, Chicago. We did a beef tour of the city, hitting three of Mo’s favorites. Two (including a joint called Roma’s) were as good as the beefs in Aurora or Dekalb, but then we went to Al’s in Little Italy. That’s Taylor Street and home of the original Al’s. From my first bite I knew I’d found Olympus, Valhalla, and just about everything except the Girl of My Dreams. I still can’t believe that an Al’s beef is legal.

You cannot eat a beef without making a mess. Just plan for it. You can wear a suit and eat a beef just so long as you know about the mess and plan for it. The hardest part of the mess is not the during, but the after. Al’s does not have a bathroom with an attendant. We usually eat at the Al’s on Ontario which is just a couple of blocks from a Bloomingdale’s. We use that restroom to straighten up after the sandwiches. Bloomies has gotten some good business as a result.

Still got eight left before Melanie gets home on Sunday. Normally on a Chicago trip I can get a yard of beefs over four days, but I’m a bit out of shape for that. A man has to know his limitations.

The Empress has Boston covered which leaves me Home Alone except for Al’s Beefs! Consider the simple styrofoam freezer box.

Now, pop it open and you find . . .

. . . two pounds of beef, two quarts of sauce, two pints of peppers (sweet and hot), and ten lines of Italian bread.

And the Empress isn’t due home until Sunday. I will try to save some for Her, but I make no promises I cannot keep.

More pictures to follow . . .

Melanie’s off to ECA for the annual conference. She hopped the commuter from Morgantown to Dulles to pick up her ride to Boston.

Now, I almost wish I was with her! But, I do have the #1 Package arriving from Al’s Beefs today.

Susan Basen has translated the Primer chapter on Classical Conditioning into Haitian Creole!  If you can read the translation from Susan and then reread the Primer chapter.  Let me know which one seems more whimsical, yet informative.  Consider just the opening.

Kisa ou fè lè ou tande yon bag klòch?

Lè kèk pwofesè tande yon klòch youn nan premye bagay yo fè se mache soti nan koulwa a. Menm lè yo ap nan kay la. Pou kont li. Apèl la nan klòch la se tou senpleman tankou yon abitid fò ki sa yo pwofesè yo ap pwodui konpòtman nan dwa (ale nan sal an kontwole) nan move plas la (kay pwòp yo).

Nan chapit sa a n ap gade Conditioning klasik, petèt, modèl la pi ansyen nan chanjman gen. Li te gen plizyè aplikasyon enteresan ak mond reyèl la, sa ou ka pa gen panse sou li. Se pou yo gade nan konpozan a modèl sa a.

It just looks persuasive, doesn’t it?

My thanks to Susan for her efforts with the Web Hosting Geeks and their efforts to make science more useful to more people.  Perhaps this translation might help you make more sense of my feeble efforts.

As with virtually every work unit that ever has been or ever will be, the single most important element is the people.  There are two simple ways to find good persuasion people.

1.  Give your gang of suspects each a sheet of paper.  Then describe one at a time, three different persuasion scenarios that come from your work experience.  Make one description sketchy and brief, the other detailed, the last in between.  Tell them to write out a persuasion analysis and/or persuasion play.  Let them write awhile then stop them after a few minutes, then describe the next scenario.  Don’t tell them about the time limit and vary the time limit for each scenario.  Write down how long you give them to write for each scenario.

When you evaluate the writing, sort them into three categories that should be readily apparent.  Some folks will write next to nothing and at the most obvious and simple level.  Consider hiring these folks for something other than persuasion.  Another group will write smart, correct, and interesting responses demonstrating a facile and quick skill with persuasion.  Consider hiring these guys for the persuasion operation.  The third group will be the in-betweeners.  They will get into the right church, but wrong pew.  They are trainable.  Consider hiring them for your persuasion team but only under pressure.

Now look at the timing patterns.  Some folks get better with more time, others do what they do immediately and show nothing extra with more time.  The time factor tells you about knowledge and experience.  Experts unload fast and deep and keep going.  Everybody else doesn’t.

Finally, compare responses to the amount of detail you provided in the descriptions.  Less detail requires more imagination, so you should see talent stand up here.  Look to see who colors outside the lines when you give detailed descriptions.  Persuasion can run in scripts, but you always want original thinkers.

2.  Get your gang of suspects and stand up each one, give them another persuasion scenario from your work and tell the suspect to role play it in front of you.  Allow some time for preparation, but again, don’t announce that in advance and vary it.  You might want to develop two or three standard scenarios that you give all candidates (but, of course, you do this so that no other candidates gets an unfair advantage).  Thus, you run everyone against the same benchmark.

When you evaluate the performance, you will see the same three categories: None, Some, A Lot.  Most folks will just say, “Give me money” or “Buy this, please.”  Some will lay you out and you’ll find yourself reaching for your wallet in response to their persuasion play.  And a few will be in-between, not bad, but not good, just trainable.

Follow the same standards here about amount of detail in scenarios and length of time to prepare and respond that we used for the written portion of the test.  And then use the same analysis principles (how does performance vary with detail or time).  You’ll see similar patterns although probably not with the same people.

Summary:  There will be a fair amount of overlap between the written and oral performances, but of course, some folks are better at analysis than performance and some are better at performance and lack analysis.  A few are good at both.  For example, I’m good at the writing part, but mediocre at the talking part.  I need practice and rehearsal before I’m good on my feet.  Thus, if you put me through this and I’ll look good on one test and not so good on the other.  You’d want to hire a guy like me, so be alert.

Typically, you want the folks who can think and act; it’s more efficient and you need fewer people.  It depends upon the nature of your unit and operation.  You probably need both Special Forces superstars and plain old groundpounder foot soldiers.  Each are valuable for different reasons.

Also, try to get the smartest and most conscientious gang members who also do well on these two tasks.  If you can only get either 1) smart and reliable or 2) persuasive written and oral, take smart and reliable.  Then train the hell out of them.  You can train persuasion, but you cannot train smart and reliable.

Finally, among the smooth talkers, look for narcissists.  Weed them out.  Persuasion is always about the other guy and persuasive narcissists usually ignore that as long as they are the center of attention.